Born into a big family, I was always comfortable and looked forward to family gatherings. Therefore naturally, I didn’t put much thought into how early I wanted company around after giving birth. I completely disregarded how uncomfortable, how tired, how “ugly” I might be and how exhausting it is to be present for others when really you just want your own space.
Let me momsplain something here, “daddy privilege” is a term to describe the double standard that exists in parenting – praising dad for doing expected/normal duties. Is it new? No. But it is getting called out with more and more moms and dads (you go dads!) coming forward with the disgusting truth of how our society upholds such low standards for dads while expecting greatness from moms.
The human body is a remarkable thing. From the day we are born to the day we die; we go through so many changes. Our bodies carry us through the rigors of life and perform amazing feats. To this day one of the most amazing feats, despite being a tale as old as time, is the whole journey a woman’s body goes through during pregnancy, childbirth, and beyond.
Picture this Mamas: you’ve set yourself up for a comfortable breastfeeding session. You’ve got your cushion, your favourite TV show cued up, snacks and water within reach and your baby in your arms. You’re feeling okay – I mean, sure you could use a few more Zzz’s and you’d love to have a long hot shower and wash your hair, but generally you’re feeling okay about life and this whole parenting gig.
And your heart sinks. Your stomach drops. You suddenly feel a complete loss of appetite, perhaps even nauseous. Then, almost as suddenly as it came, it’s gone and you’re left wondering what the hell was that?
When we picture birth, we visualize a bubble of love. The moment where we lock eyes with our darling baby, the relieved, sobbing chuckle we let out when we hear their strong cry, the first skin-to-skin bond we want to treasure and the tears that follow because we are so in love. And yet, how disappointing is it when the opposite happens, and that you don’t immediately fall in love with your new bundle of joy?
Heading back to work can be nerve-wrecking for any mom after childbirth. On top of work matters to return to, adjusting to mom-life at the office, there’s also the question of trusting others with your baby and how you will be feeling away from lil bubba.
For most women, their crowning glory is everything. Even if you’re a hijabi, your mane is still something you hold dear and fond of because a lot of women (men too) carry themselves more confidently with a good head of hair. But the moment you begin to start shedding hair, now that’s when panic kicks in.
It’s no surprise how the postpartum period finds a lot of moms overwhelmed. It’s hard to find any time for yourself when you're constantly attending to baby & focusing on your recovery. But did you know that your recovery also includes laughing? Being kinder to yourself? Moving your body and taking a shower? Yes it does, mamas.
I remember getting a clogged duct and just experiencing THE worst pain ever. It was so painful I thought I was going to need surgery. I also thought that, alright, this was it, this was my calling that I just could not go on. I kept repeatedly telling myself that breastfeeding was not for me. It was just too, too, painful of a thought to carry on and think about breastfeeding my child for a few more hours what more the two years I intended.
To start off, in no means is this a mom-shame, guilt-trip article. Nor is it an article advocating “breast is best” vs “fed is best”. No, this is purely for knowledge sharing for mothers who seek more information about the types of milk that are available and best for their baby.
A topic that should never be taboo is birth trauma. There should be no shame as labor is very RAW. So let’s talk about it and acknowledge that it affects nearly a third of mothers, mothers who are most likely suffering silently.