Born into a big family, I was always comfortable and looked forward to family gatherings. Therefore naturally, I didn’t put much thought into how early I wanted company around after giving birth. I completely disregarded how uncomfortable, how tired, how “ugly” I might be and how exhausting it is to be present for others when really you just want your own space.
Let me momsplain something here, “daddy privilege” is a term to describe the double standard that exists in parenting – praising dad for doing expected/normal duties. Is it new? No. But it is getting called out with more and more moms and dads (you go dads!) coming forward with the disgusting truth of how our society upholds such low standards for dads while expecting greatness from moms.
Honestly, my “bra energy” was low at the beginning of my pregnancy. Wearing a bra during the first trimester wasn’t so bad, it was going into the second and third trimester where wearing a bra felt suffocating and just downright uncomfortable.
Was I the only one who felt this way? Nope, turns out a lot of preggo mommas felt the urge to just rip off their bras in the middle of the day and let their “hoohas” hang. How could we not? Our body was expanding, the skin stretches and tight constrictive clothing will only cause farther irritation and none of us, wants to find ourselves scratching our boobs in public.
As a first-time mother, I naturally wanted to be as prepared as I could. I read all kinds of articles, attended webinars, spoke to other mothers, and eventually got to a point where I felt confident in visualising the ‘perfect’ birth. So when I found out at 34 weeks that my baby was breech and I was asked to consider a C-Section if she didn’t turn, I was more than a little thrown.
The human body is a remarkable thing. From the day we are born to the day we die; we go through so many changes. Our bodies carry us through the rigors of life and perform amazing feats. To this day one of the most amazing feats, despite being a tale as old as time, is the whole journey a woman’s body goes through during pregnancy, childbirth, and beyond.
Picture this Mamas: you’ve set yourself up for a comfortable breastfeeding session. You’ve got your cushion, your favourite TV show cued up, snacks and water within reach and your baby in your arms. You’re feeling okay – I mean, sure you could use a few more Zzz’s and you’d love to have a long hot shower and wash your hair, but generally you’re feeling okay about life and this whole parenting gig.
And your heart sinks. Your stomach drops. You suddenly feel a complete loss of appetite, perhaps even nauseous. Then, almost as suddenly as it came, it’s gone and you’re left wondering what the hell was that?
When we picture birth, we visualize a bubble of love. The moment where we lock eyes with our darling baby, the relieved, sobbing chuckle we let out when we hear their strong cry, the first skin-to-skin bond we want to treasure and the tears that follow because we are so in love. And yet, how disappointing is it when the opposite happens, and that you don’t immediately fall in love with your new bundle of joy?
Heading back to work can be nerve-wrecking for any mom after childbirth. On top of work matters to return to, adjusting to mom-life at the office, there’s also the question of trusting others with your baby and how you will be feeling away from lil bubba.
There’s a pretentious belief that the bigger breasts, the more milk it will produce. FALSE. The size of your breasts does not indicate this, darlings. I personally know a mother with a small cup and she produces more milk that I do. She’s a size A and I’m a size C! She was producing her liquid gold like magic (or so it seems to me) and there I was crying for more milk. So no mommas, please don’t fall trap to this myth but instead, be prepared.
For most women, their crowning glory is everything. Even if you’re a hijabi, your mane is still something you hold dear and fond of because a lot of women (men too) carry themselves more confidently with a good head of hair. But the moment you begin to start shedding hair, now that’s when panic kicks in.
It’s no surprise how the postpartum period finds a lot of moms overwhelmed. It’s hard to find any time for yourself when you're constantly attending to baby & focusing on your recovery. But did you know that your recovery also includes laughing? Being kinder to yourself? Moving your body and taking a shower? Yes it does, mamas.
I remember getting a clogged duct and just experiencing THE worst pain ever. It was so painful I thought I was going to need surgery. I also thought that, alright, this was it, this was my calling that I just could not go on. I kept repeatedly telling myself that breastfeeding was not for me. It was just too, too, painful of a thought to carry on and think about breastfeeding my child for a few more hours what more the two years I intended.